Mrs. Words

When was the last time you are able to take over your life and finally be able to do the right thing?  I did it a few days ago.  The guy I am with already has a girlfriend and he meant our relationship is supposed to be just for fun. But after some time, I caught in feelings and it bothers me a lot because he was invested time in me by taking me places, buying me gifts, meeting me halfway (I just can't with people who sacrifice their time just to meet me), texting me every day, video calling me in random times. He's fun and loving of course but I caught feelings and I start getting upset every time he told me he wanted to go out with his girlfriend.  Every time he did that, I always wonder "What is wrong with me?" Why I always be the second choice to everyone I hold most dear? Is it because I'm always around and easy to approach? Is it better to know that in his mind, I am the best? Better than his girlfriend like he said every time I asked him wh...

Right now in life, everything seems like you're coming to a dead-end. To the end of the road. At the edge of a cliff.  You absolutely have no idea where life might take you. You keep thinking of the life you've been picturing for so long--and this life isn't even close to what you're dreaming of. You haven't been on the place where you should be right now. That dream job hasn't been yours. Even the plan of getting married by 25 is forgotten because hell, every guy wants to take it 'casual' right now. You try to play it cool, try to brush it off. Telling people that 'I am living in my own timeline' or 'Things will falls into place for me one day' but you can't help to wonder: when is that 'one day' will actually happens to you? Why aren't you living the same timeline like your bestfriend who's already pregnant with her second child? Aren't you good enough either to be a mom? Why are you keep doing the same job...

It's unbelieveable how lately i like to spend time alone with myself, rather with anyone else or any friends, for that matter. I was known as the 'sociable' person, i can make friends whenever i go. I have a lot of friends who i can go with. Even my ex said that there will be more than 5.000 people in my wedding because that's the image of how much friends that i have in my life. I usually find my energy recharge by meeting with other person. Or spending time with my friend, doing something fun or just hanging at the house watching movies. I usually a 'yes, man' person whenever my friends ask me to hang out, anytime, anywhere. I involved in many group activities, i used to join discussion group. My life was pretty much sociable and i always have much time for them. And then realize, i never have time for myself. My life was always surrounded by crowd, by a lot of people, by the background noises until i forget how to be alone. How to just watching people f...

As someone who drawn into the world of Instagram, i have those couples that i love to see. I even followed both of their Instagram to see what is the girl said about him, what is the boy said about her, what are the captions, what thing do they post that makes me sometimes feel jealous and screams internally to God (which i know He would hear it anyway) about why they have to be so adorable and so on point. Their relationship is everything. Everyone want to be like them. Everyone worship them to the ground they walk on. No one forget to leave a cute comment sayings about how that is a relationship goals and how the relationship should be like that, following with the wishes for the couple to be marry or anything and roots for them to be together until they die. Other people's love story might be beautiful. They might be wonderful, teary-eyed and the one you kinda wish it happen in your life. Some of them even dramatic, some of them are unbelievably sweet. They might po...

Be with someone who make time for you.  Someone you don't have to beg for their time. Be with someone who always can be contacted, whenever you need them without having to hear "I'm too busy" or "Awe, not this thing again". Some says that if we really mean that much for someone, they'll make time. They'll come through. They'll answer every phone call and reply your text back without making you have to wait or purposely make you wait. Someone who make time for you will put your needs above others, even theirs. It's the matter of priorities and you, will always be on their first. Be with someone who always calls you beautiful . Not because they are flirty, or they want something from you. Let alone they are hiding something shifty from you. But because you deserve it and you do look beautiful everyday. Be with someone who compliments your long hair, your short hair, your dark skin, your white pale skin, your face that is full of acnes, your...

Everyday in our life we made a to-do list so we won't miss what we should do today. Either it's a meeting, or appointment or simply getting someone a birthday present. They say if we are an organized person, we are usually make a list to guide us through the day perfectly--like how we want it to be. A list makes us sure that we do everything we have to do. I'm not gonna make a common to-do list. Pffft, your needs may be different than my needs. But at least there are some things that we need to do in our life. At least once. Here is the list: 1. Wake up early than the time you usually wake . This will give you the chance to prepare yourself better, you can even exercise before you go. 2. Take a different route to go to work or school. The usual route is good, but different route might be better. Maybe you can find a route that has less traffic or has a good breakfast spot? 3. Eat healthy . Not that Instagram-style healthy, but healthy as in maybe you can try less sugar...